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My pet peeve! @#%!& (Intended for spiritually mature individuals)

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I’m not sure if the term “pet peeve” is actually accurate. I did some research and couldn’t really find a better term. Hopefully, whoever is reading this can help me come up with a better term after you see where I am coming from. Here is the definition:

Pet peeve: a continual source of personal annoyance." Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K DictionariesLtd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

So then I looked up annoyance….it didn’t help much. Oh well…..

I don’t know when I decided I didn’t appreciate being around people who use curse words. I do know I went through a stage where I may have used some curse words myself.  I was immature and trying to sound cool. In fact, I have warned people if you hear me cursing, you know something is REALLY wrong. I call it “righteous indignation” if I do curse. And then look out….

Perhaps I decided I didn’t like to listen to foul language while I was in college. I began to learn a whole new vocabulary and wanted to sound intellectual. When I hear people who curse, it makes me think they are poorly educated.

Or maybe it happened when we heard our then two year old daughter shout out a curse word in a restaurant. At that time, I didn’t curse, but my husband still did….and sadly, my parents also cursed. They watched her a lot so I really think it was their influence as much as my husband as he rarely cursed in the home….mainly at work. It was so embarrassing, but everyone laughed…but we never heard her or my parents use a curse word again (while she was little).

Or maybe it happened when I took the DiSC personality test in my early 40s. I discovered that negativity is my arch enemy….it makes me crazy!

Usually, people who are around me, don’t curse, thankfully. Or if a curse word “slips” out, they apologize and say they’re under stress….or something or other. I actually love it when that happens – the apology. But I wonder why most people clean up their language when around me? Maybe the Lord’s protection as it grieves my spirit.

This weekend, there was a big event at our campground. It was about cars, trucks and camping. And it brought in a lot of people. We had our two year old grandson staying with us. His mom just gave birth to his baby brother and it was a good excuse for him to stay here again.

Attitude Check Twenty 15

Initially, we were concerned it would be such a high traffic weekend, he shouldn’t stay with us. We were assured, it would not negatively impact us. For the most part it didn’t.

Scoping out the job
Grandson in training. He pulled the seat up to the wheel, got the clothe and began shining away!

There were two young (between 18-22) couples staying near us. We heard them all going to and from the bath house frequently. Initially, as they walked by, they commented about how cute our grandson was (he is a charmer and outgoing). I never really heard much else. But my husband was working outside while our grandson was taking his nap. After he woke, he went outside to “help” his pee-paw. So my husband had heard lots of conversations peppered with curse words while grandson was inside. Really obnoxious talk. But he bit his lip and hoped our grandson wouldn’t hear them or pay attention.

The next morning, we dropped our grandson off at his home, then went to church. After church and over lunch, the subject came up about the cursing. And it was my husband who brought the subject up! We are really under conviction that we want to make an impact upon this world, for the sake of our grandsons, but to help people see the Lord in ordinary people like us. It was so great to hear my introverted and pacifist husband want to take the bull by the horns!

So I googled “cursing” to see if I could find some inspiration for this blog. And I found a post by a writer and teacher that really explains the use of cursing from a Biblical perspective. Bottom line, he said it’s not the words that are so bad, it’s the intent of the words, it’s how the words are used. But even as I read the words in his post as just words, it still rankled me a bit.

To me, curse words are like weeds, seeds of unhappiness and misery. They just fly around without any real purpose….and they infect others!
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“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

UPDATE: It is six years later as I write this and revisit some harm that came from my writing this as well as how my intention of writing it did not protect my precious grandson. First, a relative took GREAT offense to this post. This relative thought I was insinuating I was name calling when I stated I believed “uneducated people curse.” My dearest mother whom I love and cherish did not finish high school. And she was the one who cursed around my daughter until she heard my daughter yell out that curse word in a public setting. Anyway, I wish I had saved the specific response my relative so I could have better understanding today. Second, my grandson has been around more and more cursing the past two years. He just turned 8 years old. And now he has language can put a sailor to shame – but only when something triggers him.

My heart aches for his future with this much unhappiness and misery in his life. And that was the point the relative missed. And now after the Covid shut downs, etc., it seems as if people of all types are cursing more than ever. So now I have asked God to help my heart to find ways to better express my thoughts and opinions. But for now, my lesson is that I was very much in the flesh, or carnal, when I wrote this. Paul addressed the Church he helped found in Corinthians about their “fleshly” or carnal behavior. My intention was to protect my grandson while I expressed my own “righteous indignation.” This post is meant for those who have a personal relationship with our Living God. If a person does not have this relationship, then their colorful language does not appear to be a problem. And I must live and let live. In the meantime, how do I help my grandson?

Brothers and sisters, when I was with you I found it impossible to speak to you as those who are spiritually mature people, for you are still dominated by the mind-set of the flesh. And because you are immature infants in Christ…”

1 Corinthians 3:1a TPT

27 thoughts on “My pet peeve! @#%!& (Intended for spiritually mature individuals)”

  1. Pingback: Anyone with me? | Blogging 101: Alumni

  2. It’s an interesting read Debbie, your grandson is so cute.

    I was also averse to curse words until I reached college. Engineering colleges have a strange environment and though I myself did’t use them I had to get accustomed to hearing them frequently. Also most of the males in our families–dad, uncles and like use curse words as a fun way of talking and also to express their frustration, though they exercise caution when using them before children. Ladies in small cities and towns mostly don’t use them. But in small villages or metropolitan cities they do.

    Beautiful pictures.

    Sincerely,
    Anand 🙂

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  4. I’m with you!! Like most folks I got a little indelicate in my speech for a time in my early years. But later I did come to see it an exhibit of limited vocabulary. I have been known to put down a book that begins to fun off at the potty mouth and forget reading it at all. There are just so many ways to come up with something clever with them.

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  6. I let a few slip every once in a while. Mostly as an epression of frustration or even amazement.
    But I have come to realize that those who have to lace every sentence with several explicitive adjectives suffer from a rather sad condition. They do not have the vocabulary to express emotions (especially anger) without profanity. I have watched people in a rage try to express themselves. They can’t! I also see a similar situation in political commentary. While the words may not be curse words, the anger and frustration comes out as violent verbal personal attacks because the attacker does not have the ability to engage in civilized discussion without attacking.

    My overall feeling is one of sadness. I feel sorry for those trapped by an inability to express themselves in a polite, intelligent way.

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    • I agree with you. Yes sad, no better way to express their anger or frustration. And the political arena evokes such high emotions.
      I guess I’m enjoying the Blogosphere world where I see hope and kindness. I renamed this to “Let’s Help Each Other” because that’s what I’m seeing and experiencing. What a great place to express ourselves and show some love! Lol

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  7. I agree with you in many ways about cursing , or as we tend to call in in Australia…swearing … but alas am guilty of the deed at times. What I find most annoying is the need for it to be written on the backs of cars ( stickers) or on graffiti etc. How can we raise children to decided for themselves when the rest of the world seems intent on immersing them in such a culture. I was raised by a tradesman Dad who I never heard swear at all….. although I was told when in my teens that he swore a few times quite severely when on his building sites. He never brought that stuff home and my mother never indulged herself in that kind of behaviour either. I have a husband who no doubt uses it when out with other mates etc , but not too much and i have been known to as I said. However…. I feel that your statement above that it is laziness is so true when parents and others use it around children. We have never used that F word in front of our children and yet when I am out on the street I hear it being slung around as if it was some kind of speech tic with the littlies mopping it all up like sponges. Parents even use it towards their own kids!!!!! This behaviour baffles me…. and we wonder why kids are growing up with no boundaries
    Good read , thanks
    Adrienne

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    • Thank you Adrienne! It’s so refreshing to share similar beliefs and situations around the world!
      And how ironic as my husband and I pulled behind a car at a stop light with a bumper sticker displaying the F word, telling people to back away…pathetic!

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  8. Thank you for your thoughts on this subject. I love that verse in Ephesians and we discuss it in our home frequently. Mostly when one kid is being mean to the other!

    Proverbs has some wisdom on the subject. In Prov. 18:21 it says that “Words have the power of life or death”…. and Proverbs 12:18 says “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

    I desire my words to bring life and bring healing to those around me.
    Love and blessings,
    Melissa

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    • Oh thank you Melissa for those additional scriptures! So important for children to know the Word of God has life in it, a joyful life!
      And kids can’t help but be mean, it’s our nature-and that’s why they need to learn God’s Wisdom! Good for you reinforcing His Word-in teachable moments!

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  9. “for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh” (Luke 6:45) and “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).” Cursing often displays a person who is conflicted, disturbed, and sometimes even “a walking time bomb.” That saddens me for that person. On the other hand, some do it as bravado or for shock value or what they might consider an acceptable form of rebellion. Whatever the reason, it affects younger people to the point of believing vulgar and obscene words are normal. That’s ugly.

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  10. Interesting perspective. I actually come from a family of cursers (unfortunately) but I myself, have felt exactly the way you do. Cursing is rather overused and often times at unnecessary moments.
    Still, who I am today would say that cursing is not bad. It is merely another way to express oneself. I cuss but not as often as my peers in actuality (maybe.) Sometimes, “fudge” and “shitaki” just don’t cut it in convey the feelings behind something; taboo words seem to do the trick though when used cautiously.
    Wonderful post Debbie 🙂

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    • Aw, thanks! I’ve had to let one rip every once in a a while – the nature of life today! The last time was in May, after our truck was wrecked and we were under tremendous pressure….but it was not a proud moment….I blogged about it in my attempt to be transparent!
      Your mastery of the English language tells me you’d be able to come up with some interesting colorful language in a like situation! Lol

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  11. Thanks for sharing, Debbie! Ephesians 4:29, is one of those verses I try to live by. Not that I’m perfect, but I do strive to only let words come out of my mouth that will build others up. The world is full of enough people who tear others down. In particular, teen suicide was something that I had to deal with on a daily basis. From what you’ve told me, I imagine it was a threat you had to battle against as well. Proverbs 18:21 never seems more true than when you’re dealing with bullying in school or abuse in a home: Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (MSG). I hope my words have helped to bring some people life. The world needs more builders. We have enough wrecking crews already…

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