I picked my two-year-old grandson up from daycare right before his second birthday. I learned his new favorite word is “MINE!” And that is with emphasis! At first, everything he touches is MINE! His parents and grandparents (including me) are trying to figure out how to help him understand….
So when his paternal grandma and her fiance came to see him, he began with MINE. So I mentioned that is his new favorite word. Fiance quipped back, “It’s my favorite word, too!”
I do like my grandson’s daycare. They really are experts in handling behavior issues. So I asked about this possessiveness. My husband and I don’t remember this stage with our daughter. Maybe it’s a boy thing? I was told it is a normal stage children go through. “He’ll grow out of it” I was assured.
Around this same time, I read this blog about an adult claiming MINE, over a red car. An excerpt:
How many things that are not ours do we regard as ours?
I talk about “my life.” It is not really mine. I did not make it, buy it or earn it although it may be registered in my name. It is a gift of God. My husband and my children are also gifts. So are all my talents and accomplishments. My blog and my books only exist because God has gifted me with certain talents and opportunities. God can take them back at any time and no doubt I will then also accuse Him of being mean.
No, I don’t think we grow out of it. But what my faith teaches me is to allow the Lord to take selfish traits from me. So as I spend lots of time with my grandson and hear how many times he says, MINE, I examine myself and ask the Lord, “am I still clinging onto things that are really yours?”
Then today, a friend posted this on FaceBook:
When everything seems to be falling apart and you don’t think you can bear it- when you want so badly to grab control- to grasp at straws- remember that nothing comes to us without His permission and His will- His justice- His goodness will be restored in His time. When your power is diminished it’s because His power is the only true power – the only true way to find peace in trial and joy that doesn’t quiver is to surrender to His path. It’s hard to not become weak or to trust Him with it all- but only then can you truly put on the Robes of His blessings.
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for. “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.”
Matthew 5:3-8 MSG
and I have to ask, “OK, Lord, you’re serious about my behavior.”
To what am I clinging? I’m a minimalist, so it’s not material things. I’ve dedicated my finances to the Lord (a long time ago and blogged about it here), so it’s not money. My daughter and I cut our cord long ago, although we are very close. It can’t be my time because every day, I ask the Lord, “Where would You have me go today?” AND “What is my assignment for today?” My time isn’t mine as I never seem to do things “just for Debbie.” Although I’ll admit, I’d like to – but really what would I do different each day?
Is there something that makes me feel I am at the end of my rope? What am I struggling with?
Let me look at my posts and see if I see if there is anything else. It can’t be my grandson, could it? Could I be clinging to him too tight? Do I realize he really isn’t mine? Now that we have a second one, surely, I’ll begin to love and cherish him as much! “Won’t I, Lord?”
What do you think? Can we love our children and grandchildren too much? I know too many parents who have buried a child. My heart aches so much for them. But I remember how my own dad told me he KNEW I was on loan to him from God.