I’m not sure if the term “pet peeve” is actually accurate. I did some research and couldn’t really find a better term. Hopefully, whoever is reading this can help me come up with a better term after you see where I am coming from. Here is the definition:
Pet peeve: a continual source of personal annoyance." Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K DictionariesLtd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.
So then I looked up annoyance….it didn’t help much. Oh well…..
Perhaps I decided I didn’t like to listen to foul language while I was in college. I began to learn a whole new vocabulary and wanted to sound intellectual. When I hear people who curse, it makes me think they are poorly educated.
Or maybe it happened when we heard our then two year old daughter shout out a curse word in a restaurant. At that time, I didn’t curse, but my husband still did….and sadly, my parents also cursed. They watched her a lot so I really think it was their influence as much as my husband as he rarely cursed in the home….mainly at work. It was so embarrassing, but everyone laughed…but we never heard her or my parents use a curse word again (while she was little).
Or maybe it happened when I took the DiSC personality test in my early 40s. I discovered that negativity is my arch enemy….it makes me crazy!
Usually, people who are around me, don’t curse, thankfully. Or if a curse word “slips” out, they apologize and say they’re under stress….or something or other. I actually love it when that happens – the apology. But I wonder why most people clean up their language when around me? Maybe the Lord’s protection as it grieves my spirit.
This weekend, there was a big event at our campground. It was about cars, trucks and camping. And it brought in a lot of people. We had our two year old grandson staying with us. His mom just gave birth to his baby brother and it was a good excuse for him to stay here again.
Initially, we were concerned it would be such a high traffic weekend, he shouldn’t stay with us. We were assured, it would not negatively impact us. For the most part it didn’t.
There were two young (between 18-22) couples staying near us. We heard them all going to and from the bath house frequently. Initially, as they walked by, they commented about how cute our grandson was (he is a charmer and outgoing). I never really heard much else. But my husband was working outside while our grandson was taking his nap. After he woke, he went outside to “help” his pee-paw. So my husband had heard lots of conversations peppered with curse words while grandson was inside. Really obnoxious talk. But he bit his lip and hoped our grandson wouldn’t hear them or pay attention.
The next morning, we dropped our grandson off at his home, then went to church. After church and over lunch, the subject came up about the cursing. And it was my husband who brought the subject up! We are really under conviction that we want to make an impact upon this world, for the sake of our grandsons, but to help people see the Lord in ordinary people like us. It was so great to hear my introverted and pacifist husband want to take the bull by the horns!
So I googled “cursing” to see if I could find some inspiration for this blog. And I found a post by a writer and teacher that really explains the use of cursing from a Biblical perspective. Bottom line, he said it’s not the words that are so bad, it’s the intent of the words, it’s how the words are used. But even as I read the words in his post as just words, it still rankled me a bit.
To me, curse words are like weeds, seeds of unhappiness and misery. They just fly around without any real purpose….and they infect others!
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29
UPDATE: It is six years later as I write this and revisit some harm that came from my writing this as well as how my intention of writing it did not protect my precious grandson. First, a relative took GREAT offense to this post. This relative thought I was insinuating I was name calling when I stated I believed “uneducated people curse.” My dearest mother whom I love and cherish did not finish high school. And she was the one who cursed around my daughter until she heard my daughter yell out that curse word in a public setting. Anyway, I wish I had saved the specific response my relative so I could have better understanding today. Second, my grandson has been around more and more cursing the past two years. He just turned 8 years old. And now he has language can put a sailor to shame – but only when something triggers him.
My heart aches for his future with this much unhappiness and misery in his life. And that was the point the relative missed. And now after the Covid shut downs, etc., it seems as if people of all types are cursing more than ever. So now I have asked God to help my heart to find ways to better express my thoughts and opinions. But for now, my lesson is that I was very much in the flesh, or carnal, when I wrote this. Paul addressed the Church he helped found in Corinthians about their “fleshly” or carnal behavior. My intention was to protect my grandson while I expressed my own “righteous indignation.” This post is meant for those who have a personal relationship with our Living God. If a person does not have this relationship, then their colorful language does not appear to be a problem. And I must live and let live. In the meantime, how do I help my grandson?
Brothers and sisters, when I was with you I found it impossible to speak to you as those who are spiritually mature people, for you are still dominated by the mind-set of the flesh. And because you are immature infants in Christ…”1 Corinthians 3:1a TPT